So what have YOU been up to?

Right?  One of my least favorite questions.  It ranks right up there with ‘where are you from’  … in other words…. I have no ready, real answer.

I like real answers.  I like reports of progress and growth.  However, at times, it’s the mundane, the quietly ‘hanging in there’ (another cliche that is rapidly declining in my personal popular phrases category), the continuation of being that is required.  In other words, leave me alone, I’m busy stubbornly persisting!  Not literally leave me alone, more like a ‘please understand that although there is little outward display of grandeur the mere fact that I have not yet completely lost it is a rather large accomplishment, thanks for asking!’

Whew, that felt good!

And now for other stuff.

Recently the subject of gay marriage has been a major topic of conversation here in Utah.  I posted my feelings on facebook and think that some of my extended family was a bit miffed.  I understand that they are very opposed to it and why they feel that way.  However, I’m going to repost here:

‘As I’ve been asked several times what my views on gay marriage are and how will/won’t redefine family etc. I’ll go ahead and tell ya. Family seems a relative term (pun somewhat intended) to me.I’m adopted, no big secret there, my ex husband – dad of my two great kids – lives with my parents, ‘my’ grandkids are technically my boyfriend’s step-grandkids, I’ve had a couple of unofficial foster sisters over the years and consider them all to be my family… I’m straight, many of my friends are GLBT. I don’t have to share someone’s lifestyle, hairstyle, or belief system to consider them to have value.
It takes faith, hope, a lot of work and a fair bit of that magical thing we call love to make a relationship last. Marriage provides the legal framework with rights and privileges that don’t exist any other way. For many, it also provides the spiritual framework necessary for their belief system. I’ve been legally married and divorced twice and still strongly believe in marriage between consenting adults who have the guts to commit themselves legally and spiritually.

So, I have no problem with any couple being legally married. Whether or not that marriage is recognized or upheld by a specific spiritual/religious organization is entirely up to those that adhere to that belief system.’


Additionally, my opinion is that there should be two ‘levels’ of recognized marriage.  The first (lower?) would be legal.  That contractually binding agreement between two consenting adults involving rights and responsibilities including inheritance, taxation, finances, property and all things that involve the legal system.  The second (higher?) would be spiritual.  That is to say, rights and responsibilities taken on in addition to the legally binding contract in accordance with the belief systems of said individuals.

If a couple chooses to have a legally binding marriage then they are married.  If a couple chooses to further that commitment with a spiritual bond that’s an additional agreement to the legal contract.  I’m also often asked what my views are on living together as I have been in a relationship for quite a while now while maintaining very separate residences and no marriage or any other type of formal commitment.  That’s a post for some other day.  (yeah, bit of an issue there)
I’m not saying that I’m an advocate for ‘gay marriage’ or anything else.  Just sayin’ what I think.  I’m good at that.  Sometimes.

About HollysDying

Hard core rocker/old school punk/alternative, ridiculously fiber/design oriented knitter with strong geek tendencies type person. Worked in the travel and web design industries, and benefits management for years; have done freelance writing and editing. Mother of two fantastic young adults (yes, they truly are!).
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