Progress, Regress, Progress

Work is going fairly well.  Training has been a mixed experience so far, we were put on the phones for two weeks taking calls that we were minimally trained to take but that’s ok.  Things are starting to gel now and that’s good.

My tipsy triangle socks were put away for a few weeks there due to lack of time and a fairly high pain level but are back in progress now.  I’d like to have them finished by the end of next week so I can move on to a few other projects. I’ll have insurance again in a few weeks so that should help with the pain thing.  Until then…. massive doses of ibuprofen help.  I need to knit.  Yep, I need it!  There must be creativity!  There must be beauty – or at least fun stuff 😀

Somehow the chart for the tipsy turvy socks has wandered off and I haven’t been able to find it.  There are two repeats of the tipsy triangles on the foot and now I’ve switched to plain stockinette stitch.  I’m calling them ‘sandal socks’ as in the pattern will show near the toes then go into ‘normal’ stitching then on the legs I’ll go back to the tipsy triangle if I can, and if not then will come up with something reasonably close.  This is totally cool!

In non-knitting news:  My daughter doesn’t have a phone right now and it’s driving me nuts.  I miss her!!!!  And … my son is doing well in his new job and we’re discussing important life issues again.  This is good.

Recently, someone from my distant past contacted me and it brought back floods of memories, some good, most painful.  It was an intense, and not terribly pleasant part of my life.  Nothing against him, per se, but the circumstances surrounding our long ago relationship were fairly awful.  I’d known that my family was terribly intrusive at that point but twenty plus years later have learned there was much more and just how intrusive and how damaging it really was.  I was aware of some of their actions but not aware of the extent and truly destructive nature of all of them.

In a way, it’s been good to find out now that most of the wounds healed.  I’ve had the opportunity to realize the ‘why’ of many of my thought and emotional patterns to an even greater extent and have come to the realization that given the constant and overpowering messages of not being loveable, being ugly, unworthy, of intense control as I was not capable of ‘right’ decision making, and a lot of other garbage, that I’m not doing too badly.  Yes, there have been mistakes.  Some entirely avoidable, most would have been difficult not to make given the frame of reference I had.  The advantage is that I don’t have to repeat them and I have had the opportunity to learn and grow from them.

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About HollysDying

Hard core rocker/old school punk/alternative, ridiculously fiber/design oriented knitter with strong geek tendencies type person. Worked in the travel and web design industries, and benefits management for years; have done freelance writing and editing. Mother of two fantastic young adults (yes, they truly are!).
This entry was posted in family, knit socks, verbal abuse. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Progress, Regress, Progress

  1. redfear says:

    thanks, Linda. Moving forward it always challenging but we do it!

  2. Linda Cannon says:

    Keep your chin up and it seems like you are going on OK. I too had a very rough childhood with some of the same things you have mentioned. They definietly shaped me, mostly to the good really. And I still do have to deal with some things, but one thing we will never do is treat anyone the way we were treated. This is good, as we know how to help people up and be better than we were treated. Keep moving on. Sorry about the pain, I have arthritis in my back and I know how miserable it can be to be in pain.

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