There was a two week forced knitting hiatus but… ta da…. Mom’s stole is finally blocking! The only advantage to having Mari gone is the closed-off blocking area. It’s so nice to be able to block, pin, and close the door. No cat hairs, no cat unraveling, no worries about someone accidentally stepping on it if I block on the floor.
Wrt’s toe up socks (His Navy) are making progress now. I’m only about 1.5″ shy of the heel turn. Here’s a close up of the toe, it should work far better than an ungainly long peak: .
The job search continues, on and on and on. I’ve had two voicemails from recruiters but as the phones were shut off for a few days, I wasn’t able to immediately call back. Two voicemails to each recruiter haven’t produced any call backs so shall continue to search and see what comes next. During the knitting hiatus, I also had to miss a tuition deadline for school so I’ll be waiting just a bit longer on that. It’s not too bad though. I’m going through a few free online courses in an attempt to keep the brain cells functioning; it’s great to continue learning.
I came across a wonderful phrase this afternoon in Pieces of Life, ‘I can make plans, but I cannot determine the results.’ The last few weeks there has been a great deal of introspection, assessment, progress-monitoring and all that comes with it. Amazingly, a lot of forward movement has been made but not so much as I shall eventually accomplish. I’ve finally been able to accept that I’m an abuse survivor and it DOES matter rather than brushing it off as I’m strong so don’t need to fall into the victim mentality. Although it’s true that overall the victim mentality (broad definition) isn’t a big part of my make-up, there are things that I have been and will continue to deal with. I’ve learned what a lot of my ‘triggers’ for behaviors that are not exactly self-enhancing; how to avoid those I need to and cope with those that can’t be avoided. At least as much as I’m capable of right now. My capacity will continue to grow as I do and I’m glad for that. I’m learning how to have a satisfying, adult relationship complete with trust and giving on BOTH sides. I’ve – at least partially – learned not to excuse another person’s behavior or mine. I’m still learning how to be fair to myself though rather than excuse or exaggerate my shortcomings. Know what? It feels good!