Life, death, knitting sanity

Heidi H. Benson   1966-2009

Heidi H. Benson 1966-2009

My dear sister Heidi (of Heidi’s stole ‘fame’) passed away early this morning after a long struggle with health and mental issues. The last two weeks have been spent knitting socks in the ICU to keep my hands busy, give WRT something tangeable to show my love and appreciation for his support and strength through all this, and a blue wrap for Mom to hopefully comfort her a tiny bit.

I wish I knew how to express my feelings at this point. I love Heidi so much and I’m grateful that she is finally at peace. I’m filled with grief that she’s gone, I miss her horribly all ready. It hurts that my parents are having to deal with her passing. Parents simply aren’t meant to outlive their children, particularly aging parents. In addition to my own sorrow I have a hard time watching my other sisters go through this. Heidi has certainly had her ups and downs, it’s been a difficult and tumultous life for her.

Her son, Tyler, passed away several years ago and she put the love and energy she had as a mother into her nieces and nephews. Yet she was always the favorite aunt, the one who entertained, provided for, loved all her nieces and nephews – all her family but particularly the younger generation.

Mom and two other sisters are working on her obituary right now and I need to get over there to help out with the other arrangements. I’ll write more later on.

I ended up writing her obituary with a lot of input from the rest of the family. We went to the mortuary, picked out her casket – she’d like it – went over the arrangements. It was a bitter-sweet experience as we cried, smiled at memories, Mom even commented on how much knitting I got done at the hospital, we wondered how to get everything finished and just what really needs to be done…

I’m so grateful that my parents have the support of their neighbors/fellow church members; as I was pulling in the driveway this morning several of their friends were all ready there. By the time we got home from the mortuary someone had dropped off a few groceries so Mom doesn’t have to worry about going to the store, another friend had brought a pot of stew over and had it simmering on the stove. Their church group has worked out meals for the next few days, a house sitter during the funeral, a family lunch afterwards, etc. Again, I am so tremendously grateful that they are being taken care of.

Another thing I’m grateful for is how wonderful and supportive my own friends have been throughout the last two weeks. I’ve had constant texts and phone calls, offers of rides and a great deal of support. I’ve been very blessed.


About HollysDying

Hard core rocker/old school punk/alternative, ridiculously fiber/design oriented knitter with strong geek tendencies type person. Worked in the travel and web design industries, and benefits management for years; have done freelance writing and editing. Mother of two fantastic young adults (yes, they truly are!).
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3 Responses to Life, death, knitting sanity

  1. redfear says:

    Thank you, I appreciate your comments.

  2. tana says:

    I am so, so sorry.

  3. knitwonpurltoo says:

    I am so very sorry for your loss.

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