So what have YOU been up to?

Right?  One of my least favorite questions.  It ranks right up there with ‘where are you from’  … in other words…. I have no ready, real answer.

I like real answers.  I like reports of progress and growth.  However, at times, it’s the mundane, the quietly ‘hanging in there’ (another cliche that is rapidly declining in my personal popular phrases category), the continuation of being that is required.  In other words, leave me alone, I’m busy stubbornly persisting!  Not literally leave me alone, more like a ‘please understand that although there is little outward display of grandeur the mere fact that I have not yet completely lost it is a rather large accomplishment, thanks for asking!’

Whew, that felt good!

And now for other stuff.

Recently the subject of gay marriage has been a major topic of conversation here in Utah.  I posted my feelings on facebook and think that some of my extended family was a bit miffed.  I understand that they are very opposed to it and why they feel that way.  However, I’m going to repost here:

‘As I’ve been asked several times what my views on gay marriage are and how will/won’t redefine family etc. I’ll go ahead and tell ya. Family seems a relative term (pun somewhat intended) to me.I’m adopted, no big secret there, my ex husband – dad of my two great kids – lives with my parents, ‘my’ grandkids are technically my boyfriend’s step-grandkids, I’ve had a couple of unofficial foster sisters over the years and consider them all to be my family… I’m straight, many of my friends are GLBT. I don’t have to share someone’s lifestyle, hairstyle, or belief system to consider them to have value.

It takes faith, hope, a lot of work and a fair bit of that magical thing we call love to make a relationship last. Marriage provides the legal framework with rights and privileges that don’t exist any other way. For many, it also provides the spiritual framework necessary for their belief system. I’ve been legally married and divorced twice and still strongly believe in marriage between consenting adults who have the guts to commit themselves legally and spiritually.

So, I have no problem with any couple being legally married. Whether or not that marriage is recognized or upheld by a specific spiritual/religious organization is entirely up to those that adhere to that belief system.’

 

Additionally, my opinion is that there should be two ‘levels’ of recognized marriage.  The first (lower?) would be legal.  That contractually binding agreement between two consenting adults involving rights and responsibilities including inheritance, taxation, finances, property and all things that involve the legal system.  The second (higher?) would be spiritual.  That is to say, rights and responsibilities taken on in addition to the legally binding contract in accordance with the belief systems of said individuals.

If a couple chooses to have a legally binding marriage then they are married.  If a couple chooses to further that commitment with a spiritual bond that’s an additional agreement to the legal contract.  I’m also often asked what my views are on living together as I have been in a relationship for quite a while now while maintaining very separate residences and no marriage or any other type of formal commitment.  That’s a post for some other day.  (yeah, bit of an issue there)

I’m not saying that I’m an advocate for ‘gay marriage’ or anything else.  Just sayin’ what I think.  I’m good at that.  Sometimes.

It’s Spring! It’s winter! It’s Spring!

After a few days of 65+ weather it snowed last night.  As in a real wind howling, 3″ to scrape off the car this morning storm.  It’s now 28F and looks like the weekend will be cold and dreary as well.  I suppose that’s ‘normal’ for Utah but I do miss actual spring time weather that we got back home.

It’s been a trying winter with Dad being diagnosed with atypical Parkinson’s on top of everything else and then being hospitalized for two weeks after an extreme reaction to his Parkinson’s medication.  He gave us all a real scare, including himself.  Unfortunately, the reaction was psychological as well as physical and he was in his own, very literal, version of hell for quite a while.

I’m so grateful that things have evened out and back home now.  I started a pair of socks for him ages ago but have had an irrational fear that when I finish them he will die.  Yes, it is completely absurd and I realize that, but working on them when he’s been doing so poorly has made me burst into tears.  It’s difficult to work cables when you’re crying so I’ve put them down for a while now.  Perhaps now that he is doing better (although that is a relative term) I can pick them up again soon.  Although my main concern has been Dad’s health and well-being, I’ve also been terribly concerned about Mom. They’ve been married literally all of her adult life and she’s having to face ‘the beginning of the end’ as she put it.

Due to some technical issues at work, I’ve been off for two weeks now.  Being a contract worker that means two weeks unpaid ‘vacation’ – too bad I didn’t know this was going to happen; I can think of far better ways to spend two weeks off than checking emails every 20 minutes or so to see if it’s been resolved yet.  Fortunately, I’d been averaging 50 or more hours per week last month and have some unemployment benefits left from ‘last time’ so have been okay financially so far.  I’ve been looking for something more stable but the job market isn’t all that friendly with large numbers of far younger/less experienced (perceived costly) people competing for every opening.  Hopefully, it will be resolved in a few days though.  I’m sure our tech support people are also hoping it’s resolved soon as they must be tired of my daily ‘are we there yet’ emails!

So… what have I been doing with all this time?   I’ve finished three pairs of socks, nearly finished a cardigan, spent hours and hours looking at new patterns and going through my yarn stash, read blogs, spent a lot of time on the phone with Mom and taken a couple quick weekend vacations with WRT.

Since his step grandaughters don’t read my blog, it should be safe to post pics of their Easter socks:

lace tube socks for Cierra using KnitPicks Felicia Sugared Violets and OnLine Supersocke 100 Emotion IV.

lace tube socks for Briley using KnitPicks Felici macaroon and KnitPicks Stroll Glacier.

Some socks for me

Basic socks using Susan Glinert’s Fleegle Heel and a fern stitch (one variation of it anyway) lace up the center instep them around after the heel turn.  I really like the Fleegle Heel’s fit and how comfy it is.

I’ve also got one of my dear friend, Clara’s fingerless gloves (Jessica Power’s pattern) done and hope to get the match done over the weekend. 

They’re in Crystal Palace Panda Cotton solid, a nice lightweight yarn that won’t be too warm but should keep her hands cozy while working.  She’s often mentioned how cold her hands get in her home office (she also works in corporate travel from home) so thought these might work well.

And… last but certainly not least…. doing a toe-up pair of SpillyJane’s Socks With Pints On for WRT.  I promised them at least two years ago so thought it was time to deliver.

SpillyJane is an extremely talented designer and I hope to make several of her patterns up soon. They’re a bit further along now (have three sets of different ‘beer’ colors done now) in KnitPicks Stroll.  At the moment, I’m truly not sure what our relationship holds but he’s certainly deserving of a pair of fun socks regardless of how things play out over the next while.

Mom would like me to knit her a warm cardigan for next winter so I’ve been going over possibilities.  She rarely wears her winter coat but definitely needs something that will act as a coat without the length (I got my love of full-length coats from her, it seems!) and not quite so bulky.  It must be washable and can’t be overly fussy but needs to be pretty.  Cables? Lace? Lace and cables?  Raglan or set-in? Top down, bottom up?  So many choices!!!!!

I’ve also been going over baby blanket patterns as we’re expecting a little girl within the extended family.  Again – lace? cables? both? neither? round? Square? Rectangular?  Obviously, it must be machine washable/dryable and exceptionally pretty but… which pattern/yarn?????  I’ve got it narrowed down to 12 possibilities, yes 12.  Good thing she won’t be here until early fall!

2013 – a new year, new challenges, new opportunities

It’s been a while since blogging was a high priority, sorry about that!  I have a job again, sort of.  Well, it’s a real job but I am now self employed working under contract with a former employer back in corporate travel.  I’m finding that self employment is great within limits – not loving the higher taxes, the no paid time off, still working on finding affordable health/life/disability insurances, all that fun stuff.  Most of the other self-employed people that I’ve talked with utilize their spouse/domestic partner’s insurances and can claim dependents – uhhh, being single with grown children is expensive!  But – it’s far, far better than nothing at all and I’m a great boss to work for

I’m still considering a full time ‘normal’ position though, second interview is tomorrow so – fingers are crossed that whatever is best works out.  There are the typical pros and cons so am just focusing on the tasks at hand and taking it from there.

The Holiday Season was rather lonely without the kids, in fact, spent Christmas Eve entirely alone.  I resolve never to do that again.  I spent quite a while talking with someone close to me, but later, as I was working, it was a very long, lonely night with only two client phone calls in 9 1/2 hours then back up bright and early to work another shift prior to going over to WRT’s Christmas Evening.  Am I whining?  Perhaps a little bit.  The primary reason for mentioning it though is the realization that although some people are ‘fine’ being alone on significant dates, I am not one of them.  I’ve worked many holidays over the years but have had coworkers surrounding me and family to go home to.  So….   this coming holiday season will definitely be handled differently!!!

My ‘non husband’ (don’t quite know how to refer to him now that it’s been discovered that our marriage was void due to his bigamy) used to say ‘it’s just another day.’  I completely disagree.  As humans we NEED milestones and celebrations.  Every culture has them, we have developed a system to mark time and progress, given ourselves opportunities for reflection, of giving of ourselves and our resources, we mark passages in our time on earth and find comfort in the familiar traditions while resolving to accomplish more in the next time frame.  I believe that anyone who views these markings of time as ‘just another day’ is not truly understanding their own humanity and is denying themselves of that connection.

And yes, I spent hour upon hour in the last month or so going over my blessings rather than the woes, giving thanks for all that there is, in fact – I got to the point where there were just no more pep talks to give myself so I read, I knit for others, I chatted online with dear friends, I surrounded myself as much as possible in the love that is out there and tried to extend it to others in every way that I could think of.  Did it work?  Mostly!

So… anyway….   I did finish WRTs socks using Susan Glinert Stevens’ great Fleegle pattern.  The pic ‘showcases’ the unique heel construction – it works like a miracle with NO holes and is far more simple to work than most wrap/turn construction heels.  I did have a bit of a dilema on this sock though as I was running out of Knit Pick’s Stroll Sport and didn’t seem to have the extra ball that I thought was around.  After much thinking, I decided to use some fingering weight colorwork while carrying the sport weight through for stability. Yes, I ‘could’ have made an even shorter sock but he already has one black sport weight pair that is quite short and I’m trying to keep each pair easily identifiable in his sock drawer.Sadly, I did not complete Marci’s or Dad’s pair and wasn’t able to get down to Mom and Dad’s to gift the dishcloths that are waiting for them.  (Just barely got the car re-insured so now can drive it short distances again, it is vehicular abuse to drive it at all but hey, gotta get groceries sometime ya know!)

 

Annual Thanksgiving flat tire post

It’s true, it happened again.  On my home from Thanksgiving dinner with WRT my front tire went flat as a pancake.  Of course, it happened where one can’t pull over as there is a 6″ curb so had to drive on it for two blocks before could turn off into a school parking lot.  As I had a commitment at 7pm that I absolutely had to be home for, I called him and being the great guy that he is…. he picked me up and took me home.

About 9am the next morning he picked me back up and we tried to change the tire but the spare is just as flat.  Great! grrrrr   The closest tire place was Walmart.  Yeah, Walmart on Black Friday!  We headed there and after a 10 minute wait to even speak to the auto people were informed that it would be at least two hours before anyone could get to it.  Uh no thanks.  Fortunately, Sam’s Club is next to that Walmart and there was virtually no wait but the lowest cost new tire with mounting and all that fun stuff was $89.95.  Wow, nothing like a huge chunk of $ when I’m still on unemployment yikes!  Again, being the great guy that he is, he whipped out his Sam’s Club card and paid for it.  Thank heavens!!!!!  and Thank WRT!!!!  I’ll pay him back as soon as possible, just not quite sure when that will be.

The original plan was to go down to Mom and Dad’s but several things made it look like a bad idea and as much as I miss my family… it would have been a disaster to have the tire go flat on the freeway.  So again, I’m thankful that it was on a busy surface street rather than in the dark on the highway.

It was kind of fun spending Black Friday with WRT and the boys.  His oldest had stopped by Petco for fish tank supplies and got a free pair of antlers for Fido

Yes, the dog’s name is truly Fido and no, he would NOT hold still for a photo op.  This was picture #3 and as good as it got   Immediately after the camera clicked he had those babies off and was chewing away.

Now lest you think that I get a flat tire EVERY Thanksgiving Day, I truly don’t.  Sometimes it’s Christmas Eve instead.  But the general feeling is that I should not drive anything without self-inflating tires between Thanksgiving and New Years’ Day.  I’m inclined to agree!

This afternoon I dropped off a laundry basket full of clothes, a new blanket, and 7 hats for donation at one of the local shelters.  It’s part of my friend Jacqueline’s drive and I’ve been truly impressed with the generosity and hard work so many have put into it.  In order to accommodate as  many as possible, she’s delayed the final day until the 29th so we don’t have a final count yet.  However, it looks like there will be over 40 scarves, 40+ hats and quite a bounty of clothing.